Over the last couple of months I’ve had to challenge a number of assumptions I’ve had about people. Both myself and others, but mainly myself.
One of the things I had always assumed about myself is that I was extremely introverted. I assumed this because I found spending time with people exhausting, even just sitting with a friend over coffee for an hour. The funny thing is that since separating from my husband I now have coffee most weeks with a friend and we often go much longer than an hour. In the past going out for coffee with a friend would take hours to recover from. I’d be totally drained. Now I feel refreshed. In the past I would avoid having people visit unless I had to and it would feel like a huge undertaking, similar to staging an opera. Now, when the kids say let’s have a morning tea to raise funds for cancer research it doesn’t seem such a big deal. In fact, last week when my mother, aunt and a family friend gave me a few hours notice that they were coming over I even baked before they came so we had afternoon tea to offer them. They stayed for dinner and I was not at all tired when they left. This is unheard of in our house. The children have always known that Mum needs frequent alone time just to make it through the week. Now, not so much. Oh, I still need some time alone, who doesn’t? but nowhere near as much.
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to why this is and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not living with the constant fear that people might find out that my husband is not a very nice person when he’s at home. He can be a very nice person, but he’s not always a very nice person and it had become easier to avoid people than have them find that out. I’m not sure who I thought I was protecting, me or him. I think a bit of both.
So, don’t assume you know anything about anyone including yourself.