Living with a person with mental illness is full of what if moments. What if I had known that they had this illness before I married them? What if I had realised sooner that they had a mental illness? What if they had got help sooner? What if I had realised the impact that their mental illness was having on our children? What if his depression treatment isn’t working? What if …<\/p>\n

Being separated from a person with a mental illness is full of why and how moments. Why didn’t I get out sooner? Why didn’t I realise how much he was hurting the children? Why didn’t I realise his behaviour was domestic violence? How can I be clearer than saying if you get your mental illness controlled we can talk about our relationship? Why doesn’t he understand that seeing a therapist regularly is a good first step but not the same as controlled? Why does he think that calling the house phone three times after 9:30pm is OK? Why does he not<\/em> think that yelling at my answering machine at 10:30pm will scare the kids?<\/p>\n

Last week was mental health week and our national broadcaster ran a lot of shows discussing different types of mental illnesses and I realised that my husband most likely has a personality disorder. This is a bit of a problem as he has been being treated for depression for the last ten years and is currently being treated for anxiety. Of course, it will be helpful for him to be able to control his anxiety but it won’t be helpful for his long term recovery if he isn’t being treated for the condition he actually has. Tonight he showed just how totally out of control his condition still is. He was supposed to see Mowgli but didn’t bother organising anything and then decided to try to take it out on me when he didn’t get to see him. This was even after I’d organised for him to see our son tomorrow night. He says I’m giving him mixed messages. I don’t know how I can be clearer so I guess I’ll just have to tell him that I can’t talk to him at all until he is mentally stable. This is going to be a very long journey, thankfully I don’t have to walk it alone. Thankfully I have a God who promises to be with me always and who will forgive me, even when I find it hard to forgive myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Living with a person with mental illness is full of what if moments. What if I had known that they had this illness before I married them? What if I had realised sooner that they had a mental illness? What…
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